Who is theintelligentanon?
Theintelligentanon is a 17 years old Norwegian teenager living in the Southern provinces of Norway, he has a thing for eating eyes, Madoka Magica and metal. He is one of the oldfags on our new board, his first post on the board being pre200. He enjoys grimdark animes such as Shigurui & Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magica, and isn't a fan of animes where happiness and joy is present, but he did, despite anything he had shown before and after, enjoy K-on!! He's also a fan of metal, going to a Rammstein concert in 2012 and ranking Amon Amarth as his second favorite band.
The story of Theintelligentanon
Theintelligentanon was born in a cave located on the peak of Galdhøpiggen (Norway's biggest mountain), born by a cute ass hell male squirrel and a manly as fuck female Tiger, he started his life. The first day of his life was filled with triumph, as he quickly discovered he had superhuman senses, he defeated a bear with his arms chained behind his back, using his feet. He didn't defeat the bear to consume it's flesh for survival, but in order to rip out the bear's eyes, for you see, theintelligentanon has a weird fetish, a fetish for eyes.
After multiple years living on Galdhøpiggen, collecting the eyes of bears, tigers, squirrels, sheeps, foxes, wolves and humans, theintelligentanon, now a 14 year old boy, descended upon humanity as a beautiful young girl, erhm boy. Im not sure. The first thing he did when he came down to the surface was to punch a moose in the face. He repeated this action until the moose grew fingers and ripped out it's eyes in order to offer it to theintelligentanon. Theintelligentanon, pleased by the sacrifice, gave the moose the eyes of a Lynx, this new alpha moose, now nicknamed Alphoose became theintelligentanon's steed. Theintelligentanon rode his steed into town and started working in order to get enough money to purchase a house and a bath tub. What do you mean he can't speak English and as such he couldn't get work? In Norway we speak Norwegian.
His first job was simple, he was to kill a bear that terrorized the local kindergarden; theintelligentanon, from now on known as Kyouko, dropped his bag of eyes, it was a good collection, 1230 Lynx eyes, 100 tiger eyes, 20000 squirrel eyes, 2 fox eyes, 18 wolf eyes 3254 Bear eyes, 17481 sheep eyes and 10 human eyes, and went to the cave the bear lived in.
(translated for your enjoyment) "Oy! You damn vagoo! Get the fuck out here and fight me! I am more of a man than you, and I am a woman!" Kyouko shouted. The bear came out and told Kyouko: "But I am no man, I am a bear. Raw~" but before he could finish his rawr, Kyouko roundhouse punched the bear in the face. "You have nice eyes, punk. I'll enjoy them thorougly." was the last thing the bear heard before Kyouko punched through it's thick head, ripped it's brain out and started eating. "Tastes like intelligence", Kyouko proclaimed, then she donned new clothes.
Kyouko headed back to town, riding on her moose, thinking what to do with the reward money. Upon returning she was proclaimed both hero and witch; some evil people had misunderstood her consumption of the bear's brain as an act of a pagan religion, after she was given her money she was quickly chased out of town; while Kyouko was more than able to defeat all of them with her pee, she decided that she didn't want to live in a town where the consumption of brains were banned.
She continued towards the next town, now a 15 year old kid. She dragged her giant amount of eyes with her. As she reached the next town, she quickly found a place to stay; an inn named "The Pacifist Hangman". She paid for her stay with her reward money, and now she was flat broke, but a possibility to earn money was on the horizon; a group of Priests were in town, and their squires had run away; they needed a tool to release their sexual stress, and Kyouko needed money. For 3 hours they fucked like animals, all holes on Kyouko's body but the vagoo was completely used, sullied and bloodied. But Kyouko had kept her decency and downright denied the Priests her virginity. Good for you, Kyouko!
The next morning, she arranged with the major of said town to purchase a house with a bathtub, she paid the major in cash and the major promised her that he would find her a house; Kyouko had plenty of demands; there was to be noone else living in the house, it should have a huge cellar and a bathtub in said cellar, water flowing to said cellar and last but not least, a 3 feet tall bottle of ointment.
After she finished the preperations, Kyouko headed out of town; she had decided to find a deer in order to make a great anal masturbation toy, using the deer's horn as the main point.
When she returned to town, her house was ready. She quickly carried her sack of eyes inside and went to the bathtub where she poured the eyes in.
She then dressed naked and jumped inside the bathtub, swimming in the eyes of her defeated opponents, some of said eyes entering her every opening, yes, even the vagoo, was an arousal on Kyouko unlike anything she had ever felt before. She quickly pulled out the deer horn and started impaling various eyes with it; when it was filled with eyes like a BBQ Spear lined with meat she forced it inside her rektum, she then clenched her butt together and pulled out the horn, clean as a whistle. She repeated and repeated this action until atleast 1/20 of all the eyes was inside her, then she started using the horn as a fork; impaling eyes with the horn filled with ass sauce, taking the eyes, now dripping with both blood and her own ass juice to her mouth in order to consume it, all the while she was lying on a bed of eyes.
But little did she know... I was watching the entire thing.
- Went blind due to diabetes, got his vision back.
- Suffers from a mutated form of Peripheral Vascular Disease that the doctors claims will kill him in 2 years
- Is never entertained. Seriously. He is bored 24/7, even when he's asleep he's bored. He could watch a bear fight a tiger and say "meh"
- Hates Western Media
- Eats anything, admits that he has tasted human flesh, "tasted like pork."
- Only drinks water & vodka
- Against the consumption of nicotine
- Has no ambitions or hopes for the future whatsoever.
- Saves up for a driver's licence
- Born the 14th of August 1995
- Does not have a Skype
- Dislikes Skyrim due to the fanbase, likes Morrowind with a passion
- Proud Nintendo fanboy & avid gamer of Fire Emblem & Pokemon
- He cannot fap nor perform in sexual acts.
- Cutest member on the board by a longshot
- Crossdresses occasionally
- His mascot is "Sakura Kyouko" from the popular anime Puella Magi Madoka Magica
- Has well above average drawing skills, but he can't draw feet